So my mom had passed in 2008............I was floundering, trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces of my broken life and how to start caring! I was taking 14 medications/day for my medical problems and the side effects were killing me. Lethargy, confusion, no ambition to do anything, it was a long list and I knew that the pills that were keeping me alive were robbing me of any quality of life I might have had. So I was alive but didn't care, and worse, wished I wasn't!
So it's April of 2009 and I'm recording some friends who are performing in Harlem. I invited a friend who is quite stunning, beautiful, tall, young and thin. Everything I was not! But she was just a friend! 3 women that night commented to me after my friend had left, that they thought there was something between us and we should be together. I told them all they were blind and out of their minds. But something was gnawing at me, why are they telling me this? Is it a message from the Universe? Should I be paying attention to this? Then I started asking myself, why not you? What would be so crazy about her developing feelings for me, I wasn't an ogre and actually a pretty decent human being, so why not me?
I thought, I can lose 100 pounds and do another Triathlon, and who knows what might transpire. I was aware that the odds were stacked against me and that there was a better than even chance that romance would not blossom, but I had HOPE, and that's all it took!
So I woke up the next day and started eating only healthy foods and working out everyday.........slow at first but I was consistent. I was on my way! The weight started coming off, slowly but steadily! Having lost weight before, I knew that if this change was going to be permanent, I had to do more than just lose the poundage, I needed to make some fundamental changes in myself to insure that I wouldn't slide back into my old habits. I was 56 with my mom gone, no wife or kids, my career non-existent after 10 years of care giving, and my entire life ahead of me.
So I realized that I had to start Loving myself if I wanted to make the new changes permanent. So I started reading self help books and meditating...........focusing on the positive aspects in my life and not dwelling on the negative and those things I had no control over. It was an exciting time, having a blank canvas before me that represented my future, and knowing that I was the artist who could paint whatever I wanted my life to be. It was all up to me............how scary and how empowering! I had control over whether I was happy or not, I could decide how I wanted to react to life's challenges. I was the architect of my life plan and it was up to me to make myself the best I was capable of being. The woman who was my motivation was always an inspiration to me in trying to be my best. I should say for those waiting for the happy ending, romance didn't blossom between us, and the deep and meaningful friendship I hoped for wasn't meant to be either. I am Blessed to have known this person, but we served a purpose in each others' lives and that was all that was meant to be! I started out the weight loss because of Loving her, and ended up Loving myself in the process. I believe that changing my internal program that told me I was worthless, and replacing it with a more loving message has made a huge difference in my life.
I have not binged once in 18 months or eaten anything that's not good for me. I have discovered that life is all about choices we make. Every time I sit down to eat, I have the option to choose something good for me which reflects my Love for my body and spirit, or to make a less wise choice. If someone hurts my feelings, I have the option of being insulted or taking the situation as a lesson to learn and grow from. I have been making much wiser choices in my life as a result of my new lifestyle. I pray that I can continue on this journey of enlightenment and self awareness, living up to my true potential.
Diet and exercise are the key, and so important to anyone who wants to follow my lead, but making some fundamental changes in yourself as a person are essential to success in achieving your weight loss goals. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change! You have to start looking at yourself differently to allow the changes to take place.
The most important factor in my success, was that I was ready for a major change in my life. I was unhappy, miserable, hated myself, unhealthy and ready for death or providence! I'm glad I found the latter!
Be the change you want in your life..............I was hopeless but I found hope!
For those who might wonder...........yes I went through a few big plateaus where the scale didn't move for weeks no matter what I did or didn't do.
I didn't let them get me discouraged..........I told myself that if I just stuck with the program and stayed the course, everything would work out for me. It has! I have shocked a lot of people with my success, including myself. I still can't believe that I have fundamentally changed my relationship with food, something that never happened in my many failed attempts in the past. Food is no longer pleasure, it is nourishment for my body which I respect and take care of with the same Love and care I gave my mother. I think Loving yourself is the key..............to everything!
I wish all of you who have challenges in life the insight and wisdom to find peace and the answers you need to live a mindful and fulfilling life.
May you be Blessed with the same inspiration that helped me save my own life! I am eternally grateful for you in my life............You know who you are~
I am available to anyone who would like some help or guidance in embarking on their own journey of transformation! I hope my story inspires you to be your best! Remember...........it's the journey, not the destination that counts. I embrace change as the only real constant in life! The Best Is Yet To Come~
Light & Blessings on your journey
Marty
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